Something to Cry About

Gord Downie with The Rheostatics, covering Mary Margaret O’Hara.

I’m terrified to listen.  He is one of very few celebrities I ever gave a shit about.  His ability to be so heartfelt, so poignant, yet accessible and unpretentious and fun as hell.



I had to put the cat down today.

It was awful.  Such a difficult decision.  Morally, I’m against the idea of prolonging life, whatever the cost.  But I feel I understand it better.

Even now, I’m feeling guilt for not holding out for a few tests, a hopeful chance that he’d be curable.  But even the Doctor said, he’s 14, he’s had diabetes 10 years, most cats only live 6 or 8 with the disease.  He’s stopped eating and is showing other signs of decline.  Even if the issue is something simple, we’re looking at prolonging his life for months, probably.  There would be lots of work to stabilize him.  Lots of stress.  But by getting that test, I would put off the decision.  And of course I’d hold on to him a bit longer, get another chance at goodbye.  Be a better pet owner for the end.  I’d wait for a bit more information, and hope for the decision to be made for me.  Right now, I have to live with the fact: I chose to end his life today, when there was a chance he could get better.  

Tonight, I will have to talk to my daughter.