I haven’t been on a first date for almost 15 years. I was in a long term relationship, and now I’ve been single a couple of years. I’m still circling around the idea of online dating. One of my friends had a great idea: an online dating platform that centred around events. Like, I want to go to this concert, or I want to check out this cafe, let’s see who I can find within my desired demographic who wants to go, too. I would love this. Maybe because it would take the pressure off.
One friend made it clear on her profile that she only wanted to meet for 20 minute dates. She set the rules ahead of time: we will decide, after we part, whether we want to see each other again. This way she wouldn’t waste time with someone where there was no chemistry.
Another friend used a platform where you enter hundreds of variables, and look for the best match. She then spent a lot of time getting to know her best matches online, before seeing them in person. She felt that in-person chemistry got in the way of her better judgement, so she wanted to make sure she liked them as a person, before checking for a spark.
I think both perspectives are so smart, and both these friends are in successful long-term relationships. Yet here I am, full of reasons not to start. I would really, really prefer to meet someone in person… but it’s not happening, and I’m now realizing how desperate I am for male attention. I keep it together, I’m not acting like a maniac, but it occupies a lot of my brain.